News from the Vicarage

Happy October, Parishioners and Subjects! It's shaping up to be a busy month, and I wanted to give you all a brief rundown of the various Vicarage Newsletter items that you might need to know as we press forward into this month of monsters and madness...

• First of all, Code Red DVD is apparently shutting its doors in 2011, an event all lovers of the mad should mourn. They're going out with a bang though, as they've just released the long-promised and salivated-over 30th Anniversary Edition DVD of mine and the Duke's favorite slasher of the 80s, Joe Giannone's 1982 mmmmmasterpiece MADMAN. We love the movie with a burning fiery passion, so much that we made it the subject our our landmark 100th review (which you can read right here). The crown jewel of the disc's presentation is a 92-minute documentary on all things Madman, which I personally can't wait to digest. You can get your DVD on Amazon today, so what are you waiting for?

• BUT WAIT, THAT'S NOT ALL-- In addition to the aforementioned drool-worthy documentary, included on the Madman 30th Anniversary disc is a featurette that...erm...features many notables and unknowns alike performing their own musical renditions of the haunting "Ballad of Madman Marz."Among those featured--The Vicar of VHS himself! Yes, I'm as excited as a Frenchman who just invented self-removing trousers to have made the cut with my fanboy warblings, and doubtless so are you. As if you needed another reason! NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY?

•  Any parishioners and other interested parties who will be in the NY area of the United States this weekend should note that they just *might* have the chance to rub shoulders with one-half of the Mad Movie Team, as your ever-lovin' Vicar will be attending the New York Comic Con for the first time. (As a fanboy, not as a panelist...yet.) I'll be hanging with other horror blogging luminaries in the area too famous to name-drop here, and hoping to complete my collection of Coffin Joe Comics at last. So if you're going to be there or somewhere nearby, drop me a line and let me know, either on Facebook or via email at vicarofvhs[at]gmail[dot]com!

• If you didn't read this excellent essay on Carrie and its broader socio-cultural implications by Unkle Lancifer at the always entertaining and humblingly awesome website Kindertrauma, you need to go do that right NOW. Seriously.And tell him the Vicar sent you!

• September 6 was the first post-mortem birthday of this blog's patron saint Paul Naschy, who died in November of 2009 after a battle with pancreatic cancer. October has plenty of stuff going on already, but to mark the great man's passing and the importance of his body of work, the Duke and I are tentatively planning for November our first-ever Paul Naschy Blogathon. If you are a blogger or artist or musician or some other stripe of Naschyfile and would be interested in participating, let me know at the aforementioned contact spots. More details as they become available.

So Vicarious blogging will be a little slow next week while I'm on the road, though I may be able to update the twitter or facebook feeds occasionally (Keep Watching the Skies!)--however the Duke has something up his frilly sleeves, I know, so keep an eye out for that. And Happy Samhain!

Bunnies,

The Vicar

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Vicar-ious Tidbits: or, Eyes without a Face(book)

A couple of tidbits for all my interested parishioners: first and foremost, I have decided to lessen confusion about how my fiends and admirers can get in touch with me by rolling out a new, simplified email address. You may now send your requests, observations, suggestions, love poems, thoughts too ribald for popular consumption, and social security numbers to me at

vicarofvhs[at]gmail[dot]com

What could be simpler than that? Try it! It's fun!

Also, I have decided that in order to spread my gospel of movie madness more effectively, I need much deeper penetration into the soft fleshy folds of social media. Therefore, I would like to announce that you can now visit and interact with the Vicar of VHS on my brand spankin' new Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/vicarofvhs

I'm still new to the whole booking of face thing, so there may be changes and massive service disruptions as I find my way around, and of course I'll be needing a whole lot of tech savvy friends. So by all means, friend me like mad minx, my parishioners!*

"Don't be a dillweed, Vicar--FRIEND ME already!"

*Note: friend requests may not be responded to during business hours

And finally, if are any of you parishioners or other reprobates are going to be at the New York Comic Con a scant month from now? Do you fancy a photo op with an Internet Superstar, Religious Icon, and Idol of Meeelions? If so, drop me a line at either or both locations above--because on October 9-11, THE VICAR TAKES MANHATTAN!

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Vicar-ious Fiction and Upcoming Projects

I must apologize, dear parishioners, for my absence this week, but rest assured I have good reason. Namely, after suffering a repetitive stress injury to my right forearm (that's the last time I follow 6 hours of movie note-taking with a 3-hour record-breaking run in the annual Sea Cucumber Bother-othon--I don't care what the grand prize is!), I've been giving the old typing tendons a rest. Hopefully by Monday I'll have made a full recovery and ready to take the cucumber well in hand again.

Lord Cthulhu is EXTREMELY pleased to see you

However, if you've got a hankering for Vicar-ious writing of a non-MAD nature, you can click on over to Pulp Engine and read a short story by yours truly that just went up on the site earlier this week. Body horror, anonymous sex, and allegory await you in the Vicar's fictive offering, "What You Made Me." Here's a direct link to the story, and please let me know what you think.

Also, big things are brewing for the Duke and myself, as we've accepted an invitation to participate in WildSideCinema.com's upcoming Paul Naschy memorial 'zine. Here's a press release with more information about the project, and of course you can keep watching Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies for updates as it moves along.

In the meantime, please continue to enjoy the Duke of DVD's excellent Bava series, and bone up on the archives in your spare time. As for me, I think it's time for my morning Mongolian Massage. (The Vicar loves a Happy Ending.)

Stay MAD!

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The Web Pronounces Us "AWESOME"!

The Duke and I find ourselves a little late to the love-in that is/was/continues to be the blog awards season, though to be fair I've been tied up lately (literally, and am still applying salve to the Vicar-ious wrists and ankles), and the Duke has been vacationing in sunny Uzbekistan and only recently returned to rescue me. (Note to all mad scientist-cum-dominatrices with delusions of world conquest and an army of lucha-masked dwarf henchmen--Do. Not. Fuck. With. The. Duke. That sword-cane with the Gilded Gonads of Gilgamesh handle is NOT just for decoration!) As a result, we've thus far neglected to acknowledge our friends and colleagues who have seen fit to grace our humble offerings with laurels and accolades. It's an oversight we aim to rectify, toot sweet.

Our first thank-you goes to Ms. Horror Blogosphere 2009 herself, BJ-C of Day of the Woman, who awarded us the prestigious Zombie Chicken Award. According to the by-laws, The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken – excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. Which may be the nicest thing anyone's said to me since the great-granddaughter of Maria Ouspenskaya assured me that her Mee-maw "would totally have done you, Vicar." Thanks, BJ-C, for the much appreciated recognition!

Our second shout-out goes to the honorable Al Bruno III, who declared Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies "One Lovely Blog," and gave us an award to that effect. If you aren't following Al's twitter feed, you're missing out on his awesome and entertaining "5-Second Fictions," 140 character or less narratives that have more stylistic punch than anything Hemingway could put to paper--especially since the old man's been dead for so long. Thanks, Al! You're rather fetching yourself! Check out The Wit and Weirdness of Al Bruno III here.

And finally, we'd like to nod our heads in humble gratitude to the gentleman scholar and anthropomorphized symbol of all that is great in American and World Cinema, Samuel Wilson of Mondo 70: A Wild World of Cinema, a blog that every Mad Movie fan should have on his or her blogroll. The esteemed Mr. Wilson awarded us the Kreativ Blogger Award. Bask in its wire-frame CG goodness:

Because the Duke and I took so long to get round to displaying these prizes on our ornately carved marble mantels, most people in the blogosphere have already received awards for their excellence; and of those who remain, we really hate to play favorites and risk leaving anyone out. Therefore we have decided to pass all three of these awards on to every single person in the blogosphere who has ever watched a crazy Eurotrash or American Grindhouse sleazefest and been moved to grasp tightly their quills and shake out a glee-sticky review. You hear that, people? YOU'RE ALL WINNERS IN OUR BOOK!

But since we know our parishioners and subjects have thirst for knowledge about the enigmatic figures behind these blogs, we've decided to abide by half the Kreativ Award rules by sharing "Seven Interesting Things" about ourselves. And because he's much more the cultural historian than I am, I now turn this blog entry over to The Duke of DVD, who had forgotten more about us than I'll ever know. Take it away, Duke!

*At this point, the Duke comes staggering through the door, simultaneously fondling a busty Hooters waitress with one hand and trying to take the trousers off of a diminutive Indonesian teen boy with the other. Shoving them both away in sudden disgust, he drunkenly denounces all involved with the preparation of food at the Denny's corporation, and then sinks down on a lounge chair which is covered in silk peacocks.*

Ok, thank you Vicar. Instead of sounding our collective barbaric yawps across the rooftops of the world by doing 7 Interesting Things for both of us, I'll instead cull the list down to just 7 Things total, thus saving you all from priapism and self-loathing.

Seven Interesting Things about The Vicar of VHS and The Duke of DVD

#7 - The Vicar once strangled a blind Polynesian monk over a disagreement about Wonder Woman's bra size.

#6 - The Duke won a local Romanian wenching contest 3 years in a row during the late 80's by bedding the most wenches in a 12 hour period. His record still stands at 537 wenches.

#5 - Both The Duke and The Vicar are ordained priests in a splinter sect of Gaulish Druidism focusing on metempsychosis and the bedding of horny nuns.

#4 - The Vicar has a tattoo of Paul Naschy seeing bitches in chains across his back. He also has a tattoo of 50 Cent holding a 9mm handgun etched into his coin purse.

#3 - Every year during Saturnalia, The Duke drops a 14" golden phallus into the Salvation Army donation tub located outside Macy's.

#2 - The Vicar once consumed twice his own body weight in Peeps(tm).

#1 - Both The Duke and The Vicar absolutely love the job of bringing you, our loyal readers, to the very edge of MADness with our reviews, beckoning you with a smile to look over the edge, whereupon we rudely kick you into the abyss, your soul then being slowly devoured over eons by those from beyond time.

Thanks again to everyone, and apologies if we missed any! SET THE PIGEONS LOOSE!

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RIP T.P. -- Actor Tony Fish (MADMAN, 1982) Passes Away

Sad news in the world of Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies this morning: Code Red DVD reports on its blog that Tony Fish, who assayed the role of camp counselor and hot-tub ballet star nonpareil T. P. in Vicar-fave 80's slasher MADMAN, passed away last year.

T. P. is Fish's only credited movie role on his imdb page, but it's a portrayal that should live on in the hearts of Mad Movie fans forever.

No one rocks the campfire like T.P.

T.P. valiantly attempts to free Axecalibur from its stump.

Here's a link to the item on Code Red DVD's blog announcing the sad news.

Here you can read the Vicar's paean to MADMAN and Fish's part in it, which is so wonderfully MAD it was selected as the proper film to mark our 100th review.

And finally, here you can download the Vicar's musical tribute, The Madman Theme Song--Extended Version, wherein I sing T.P.'s praises.

Rest in Peace, Tony, and thank you.

The Legend Lives

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Vicar-ious Verse at ChiZine.com!

In addition to being a formidable force in the world of Mad Movie criticism and the Theology of Ancient Video Formats, your ever-lovin' Vicar also dabbles in the literary arts. He's a writer and poet (and most of you know it), and while Mad Movie writing takes up much of his time, he still dips his quill every now and then in the service of belles lettres.

I bring all this up because my free-verse poem, "Haunt," has just been published by the online journal ChiZine (aka Chiaroscuro; http://chizine.com) as part of their spooky Halloween issue. Those interested in literature and the Vicar as a person can check it out by clicking on the link below:

"Haunt," by Scott Standridge, on ChiZine.com

Comments are invited and welcomed, so long as they're made up entirely of unqualified praise. ;)

Stay tuned for more Mad Movies, and our 200th review contest!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL NASCHY!

Hail to the King, Baby

That's right, once again it's time to say feliz cumpleaños to the man, the myth, the legend, the one whose passion for monsters and movies inspired the Duke and I to take up our feather quills, dip them in Gypsy Tears Ink™, and start singing the praises of all that is joyful and MAD in the world of cinema: Jacinto Molina, aka Paul "Fucking" Naschy!

Of course they're celebrating all over Europe and also at the indispensable Naschy.com, from which I've excerpted the following passage in honor of Naschy's nativity:

Naschy grew up in the post civil war years of Spain under the fascistic regime of Franco. At an early age, his mother used to take him to the movies to see serials like DOCTOR SATAN and DRUMS OF FU MANCHU, developing within the boy a fascination for genre-filmmaking. In Spain at that time the exhibition of horrors films was rare and, when they were shown, they were meant for an older audience. But, at the age of eleven, Jacinto managed to get into a screening of Universal's FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLFMAN. The film so impressed the young Jacinto that, afterwards, he spent some time drawing the characters.

And the rest, as they say, is history! For more info and lots and lots of awesomeness, visit Naschy.com today. And friend the man himself on his Facebook page!

Of course the Duke and I are also marking Jacinto's birthday with bacchanals, orgies, and nonstop screenings of his films in Spanish, English, and Braille. But that's not all! We're also declaring this MMMMMovies' PAUL NASCHY WEEK! Look forward to a new Naschy review from both the Vicar AND the Duke (Tues. and Thurs., mark your calendars!), and we'll cap off the week with a visual treat for all our fellow Naschy fans. Are you as excited as I am? No, you can't be!

So stay tuned, parishioners and subjects, and LET THE NASCHTRAVAGANZA BEGIN!

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Vicar-ious Vacation, and Sundry

So yeah, might as well get this tidbit out of the way first: today is the Vicar's Birthday. Whoop-de-freakin'-do. ;)

As it turns out, it's also the first day of my Summer vacation, so for the next 8-10 days I'll be lying on the sand like a beached whale, sipping Pina Coladas and roasting myself to a golden brown while reading up on the theology of the Sect of Betamax or penning my memoirs, Much of Madness, More of Sin while watching the narhwals frolic in the surf. My undisclosed va-cay lo-cay is a secluded Mad Mad Mad Mad Monastery serviced by the Sisters of Kinescope (saucy ones!) and removed from such technological niceties as "internets" and "sanitary wipes." All in all, a good time promised.

Fear not that this means a lack of MADness, however, as my compatriot the Duke of DVD has promised to take up some of the slack with an offering of his own unique wit and wisdom a few days hence. And upon my triumphant return, I reckon to be refreshed and ready to spew forth on more of the Mad Movies that are the reason for my calling. So catch up on the archives, wait for the good word from the Duke, and think of me fondly while I'm gone, as I will you.

In short: later, peeps. ;)

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The Wait is Almost Over...

Hello, parishioners! For those of you not keeping your eyes glued on The Twitter of VHS,I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know that Big Things are Coming...and Soon! You'll want to mark your calendars and clear your appointments tomorrow, because as we speak my amanuenses are putting the finishing touches on the long-awaited, possibly despaired-of pairing many in the higher ranks of the Video Format Illuminati hoped they would never see...

Tomorrow, Wednesday, March 25, is the day you will see--with your own eyes, for the first time ever on this blog--his eminence The Duke of DVD and his holiness The Vicar of VHS bringing all their powers of wit and observation to bear on the same film: Walerian Borowczyk's justly infamous 1978 nunsploitation classic, Behind Convent Walls! And if that's not enough to whet your appetites, we'll be joined by a Special Guest Star whose scholarship and insight on the genre is beyond question. NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY?

A word of warning...the forthcoming review is not for the faint of heart, the delicate of sensibilities, nor ESPECIALLY the even remotely religiously reverent. Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies takes no responsibility for faces frozen in horrified disgust, faiths shaken to their very foundations, or damage done by runaway shopping carts.

But enough with the pre-game hype. Be here tomorrow--free absolutions for the first 100 commenters! ;)

Bunnies,
The Vicar

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TO ALL GEORGE A. ROMERO FANS...

...who are planning to run out and see Diary of the Dead when it opens in your town, a word of advice:

DON'T.

It's bad. Amazingly bad. Shockingly bad. Worse than you could possibly imagine. So bad, that if I hadn't wanted it to be good, it would have been absolutely hilarious.

The acting is terrible. The direction is seriously flawed. The script is, without exaggeration, the worst example of writing I have ever experienced in a movie theater or at home.

Take a look around the site a minute and let that sink in.

Ordinarily I would encourage folks to see it themselves and form their own opinions, but believe me, in this case I'm saving you unnecessary pain. Watch Night, Dawn, or Day instead. In fact, watch My Boyfriend's Back. It's a better zombie movie, and scarier. Seriously.

If you think I'm overstating, just plop down your money and go see it.

But seriously, don't. Just don't.

A PSA from the Vicar of VHS

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