Thursday, June 5, 2008

Web Report: Kindred Souls

Greetings, parishoners! There will be a new review up on MMMMMovies tomorrow (another piece of cinematic obscurity courtesy our good friend Karswell), but in the meantime there are a few things that, as your spiritual leader, I felt compelled to point you toward in the wilds of the Interweb--

  • Speaking of Karswell, over at The Horrors of It All! this week the esteemed reprobate is running a week-long celebration of pre-code Horror Comics cheesecake--leggy dames and perverted monsters aplenty! Go on over and feast your eyes on all the twisted eroticism your dad and grand-dad used to enjoy in their virile youth!
  • If you were ever scarred by horror movies as a child (and let's face it, who wasn't?) then you should really spend a few hours over at Kindertrauma, your one-stop shop for childhood trauma. Of especial interest lately are Unkle Lancifer and Aunt John's wonderful series of "Faux-sters," posters for horror movies that were never made but should have been. Also check out the "Trauma-fessions" archive and see if others have the same scars you do--there are even a couple from the Vicar himself!
  • And last but certainly not least, the Duke and I have formed a political alliance with the Empress of the Tenebrous Empire, a monarch whose wit, intelligence, and taste in Eurotrash makes the both of us blush like schoolboys. Nunsploitation, fashion tips, and more await you on the Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire, so check it out!
In fact, Tenebrous Kate's paeans to 70s sleaze and learned essays on the topic of Jess Franco's films inspired the Vicar to sharpen his quill and pen a sonnet in the Empress's honor, hoping to gain poetic patronage. Behold the results:

La Belle Dame Tenebrous

Was it just happenstance, or some dread fate
that led me first to wander these dark halls
where such a terrifying beauty crawls
amongst what shadows lie beyond her gate?

It matters not--for no repast will sate
the lusts her dark-born majesties inspire,
no water quell this hot, delicious fire
that burns me now, nor ever will abate.

The music of her black tenebrous choir
rings in my ears, and all around me fall
her rains of blood, a warning come too late:
while yonder on the plain below us sprawl
the gathered multitudes of her Empire--
we soldiers pledged in servitude to Kate.

So get surfing, and come back tomorrow for more mmmmmadness!


Tenebrous Kate said...

It's an honor to be recognized by the shepard of the MMMMMovies flock in such a manner, and verily in the same breath as esteemed company such as this. Bestill my fluttering heart.

Our newly-united, fabulously villainous regime should have folks trembling in their insufficiently shiny boots. I've already picked out an HQ:

I'm tickled by the sonnet more than you even know, Darling Vicar.

Karswell said...

Now if you could just get Tom Araya and Co. to put some music behind this Tenebrous sonnet you'd have a hit rekkid on yer hands!

I yell! I tell! Ring the bells of Hell... I feel swell!

Thanks for the plug too, it tickles as only a true plug can.

The Costuminatrix said...

Dear gods, that sonnet is beautiful.

I cannot actually bow to you, since I am still in the service of the Tenebrous Empire and not yet permitted, but I will tip my tiara nonetheless. Perhaps the Empress may loan me out as personal tailor for the Vicarage or Duchy at some point.

After you review Witchery, that is.


The Costuminatrix
Personal Hugo Boss Of The Tenebrous Empire

The Vicar of VHS said...


Thanks for your kind words! I believe there is no conflict of interest for you, as I have recently accepted the title of Grand Vizier of the Tenebrous Empire, whose duties I perform in addition to my responsibilities at the Vicarage. Perhaps we should schedule a tailoring session for my robes of state? Or at least a new mitre...

I'll have to put "Witchery" on my ever-growing "to be watched" list. I often get it confused with Superstition, which I also need to rewatch/review.

And Karswell, you can always count on me to administer the tickly, wait, that's not right... :)

flightless said...

thy Tenebrific
sonnet delights Empress
Kate's Drug Czarina

(haiku are about all I can muster, myself. but that is lovely!)

p8, Drug Czarina
We Adore Serving Tenebrous Empire

Karswell said...

>administer the tickly, wait, that's not right... :)

Oh, yes it is Vicar, YES it IS!

kindertrauma said...

Thanks for the shout out and for putting us in such great company Vicar! HORRORS OF IT ALL rules and between you and me, we've torn down our
Dee Wallace shrine at kindertrauma castle and replaced it with a gold statue of Tenebrous Kate!
Long may she reign!

The Vicar of VHS said...

>>replaced it with a gold statue of Tenebrous Kate!

You know where I can get one of those? :)

Tenebrous Kate said...

Kindertrauma, I'm blushing over here! I'm tickled all shades of pink :} Maybe I'll need to order one of those gold statues to put out front of Tenebrous HQ...

*secretly hoping for a piece of that hott tickly plug action that seems to be going around over here*

The Vicar of VHS said...

Well, Kate, like I told Karswell... :)

Karswell said...

>secretly hoping for a piece of that hott tickly plug action

The plug is designed for multiple participants... with it's double... uh... what blog am I commenting on again?

Tenebrous Kate said...

Karswell, should I start a tickly plug thread over at the Love Train so as to stop lowering the level of discourse at MMMMMovies? ;)

The Duke of DVD said...

Actually, you gave rise to the level of discourse around here, I assure you.

Tenebrous Kate said...

Just for that, you're getting nunsmut tomorrow. I shall hear NO objections--so mote it be!

Karswell said...

If there's a way for a plug to physically "burn out" I think it just happened...

We're all talking about the same thing around here right?

15 comments Vicar! Is that rekkid?

Karswell said...

Ah what the hell, how about 16 comments. Granted half of them are from The Unholy Three, but still...

The Vicar of VHS said...

It is indeed a record. All you have to do is introduce a plugg to a thread, and watch the interest rise and rise...

Related Posts with Thumbnails