Web Report: Kindred Souls

Greetings, parishoners! There will be a new review up on MMMMMovies tomorrow (another piece of cinematic obscurity courtesy our good friend Karswell), but in the meantime there are a few things that, as your spiritual leader, I felt compelled to point you toward in the wilds of the Interweb--

• Speaking of Karswell, over at The Horrors of It All! this week the esteemed reprobate is running a week-long celebration of pre-code Horror Comics cheesecake--leggy dames and perverted monsters aplenty! Go on over and feast your eyes on all the twisted eroticism your dad and grand-dad used to enjoy in their virile youth!

• If you were ever scarred by horror movies as a child (and let's face it, who wasn't?) then you should really spend a few hours over at Kindertrauma, your one-stop shop for childhood trauma. Of especial interest lately are Unkle Lancifer and Aunt John's wonderful series of "Faux-sters," posters for horror movies that were never made but should have been. Also check out the "Trauma-fessions" archive and see if others have the same scars you do--there are even a couple from the Vicar himself!

• And last but certainly not least, the Duke and I have formed a political alliance with the Empress of the Tenebrous Empire, a monarch whose wit, intelligence, and taste in Eurotrash makes the both of us blush like schoolboys. Nunsploitation, fashion tips, and more await you on the Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire, so check it out!

In fact, Tenebrous Kate's paeans to 70s sleaze and learned essays on the topic of Jess Franco's films inspired the Vicar to sharpen his quill and pen a sonnet in the Empress's honor, hoping to gain poetic patronage. Behold the results:

La Belle Dame Tenebrous

Was it just happenstance, or some dread fate
that led me first to wander these dark halls
where such a terrifying beauty crawls
amongst what shadows lie beyond her gate?

It matters not--for no repast will sate
the lusts her dark-born majesties inspire,
no water quell this hot, delicious fire
that burns me now, nor ever will abate.

The music of her black tenebrous choir
rings in my ears, and all around me fall
her rains of blood, a warning come too late:
while yonder on the plain below us sprawl
the gathered multitudes of her Empire--
we soldiers pledged in servitude to Kate.

So get surfing, and come back tomorrow for more mmmmmadness!