MMMMOVIES 100-REVIEW COUNTDOWN CONTEST

As we gear up for our Mad Mad Mad Mad Theme week, the Duke and I are pleased to announce this, the first ever MMMMMovies contest! In celebration of our centenary review (slated for Thursday, June 3, culminating 4 consecutive days of reviews), we're offering not one, not two, not five, but THREE possible prizes for our loyal readers. Or, you know, people who just pop by and think it'd be a hoot to enter.

So what are the prizes, you ask? Well, a drum roll please...

The GRAND PRIZE will be the winner's choice between:

• A NASCHY PACK consisting of the Anchor Bay editions of Curse of the Devil and Werewolf Shadow (aka The Werewolf vs. the Vampire Women)! As my parishoners know, WWvVW is one of the Vicar's personal favorite Daninsky flicks, while CotD contains what the Duke has called the SINGLE GREATEST ACROBATIC ACT EVER COMMITTED TO FILM. Not to be missed!

OR:

• THE MMMMMOVIES HOME GAME! Ever read the Duke and the Vicar's ramblings and think to yourself, "Hell, I could riff better than that"? Well, now's your chance--you could receive the inestimable Mill Creek Gore and More set, a 10-movie smorgasbord containing such MMMMMovies favorites as Scream Bloody Murder, Night Train to Terror, and The Werewolf vs. the Vampire Women in a deliciously sub-standard print. Plus such need-to-be-reviewed gems as Driller Killer, Drive-In Massacre, Don't Look in the Basement, and more!

Excited yet? Well hang on, because FIRST LOSER PRIZE will be...

• Whatever the Grand Prize winner decides is beneath his or her contempt.

NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY? BUT WAIT, THAT'S NOT ALL!

Since we celebrate the sub-par as well as the sublime here in the Vicarage and Duchy, we're offering what no other contest dares to offer--a WORST PLACE PRIZE. The unlucky recipient will receive the scrapings from the bottoms of the Duke's well-traveled boots and a lugey in the sacremental wine from the Vicarage, not to mention the Goregasm dvd (only viewed once!) and another cinematic abortion so terrible I dared not even review it here. Yes, if you're unfortunate enough to be chosen to receive this cinematic excrement, may God have mercy on your soul.

So how do I enter this fantabulous contest, you might ask? Well, it's simple, really. Send your name and mailing address to scott.axeman [at] gmail [dot] com together with your answers to the following questions:

1. What movie should MMMMMovies review that we haven't yet, and, briefly, why?
2. Who would win in a fight between Waldemar Daninsky and Coffin Joe? Substantiate your answer.
3. What would be the perfect MMMMMovies theme song?

Winners will be chosen randomly from among correct answers...and incorrect answers...and everyone else. You don't have to be RIGHT to win, but you DO have to play along. We're only in this for our own amusement, after all. Methodology will be as follows: entrants will be assigned numbers by dart-throw at the naked bum of one of the Duke's servants, and winners will be chosen by a single toss of the appropriately-sided die from the Vicar's antique frosted quartz-crystal set of AD&D dice.

Cuz that's how I roll.

So get enterin'! DEADLINE IS FRIDAY, JULY 4! FREEDOM!

Winners will be announced the following Monday.