Malediction of the Yeti

(another sonnet by The Vicar of VHS, inspired by Night of the Howling Beast)

Believe me: I've seen human beings enough
to differentiate. They're pretty strange:
those tiny feet, the hair that grows in tufts
on bare pink skin, as if they had the mange;

And man, the stink they make! There's nothing reeks
like them to my refined, simian nose.
It festers in my sinuses for weeks!
So take my word: this isn't one of those.

This leaps off boulders like a flying squirrel,
with claws and temper like a wolverine!
Then kills ten men, but doesn't kill the girl?
No Yeti acts like that! What can it mean?

Worse yet, the howling keeps me up at night.
Much more of this, there's gonna be a fight.


--S. Standridge, "The Vicar of VHS"