Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Murdering the Meme: The Vicar's Alphabet

If you've been checking out some of the blogs friendly to the Vicarage and Duchy linked helpfully in MMMMMovies' sidebar, then you know there's been an alphabet meme going around lately. (And if you haven't been visiting those sites...what the fuck, dude?) The basic idea was to pick a movie title to represent every letter in the alphabet, and post your painstakingly-researched list.

The response was great and encyclopedic. Among many notable efforts,
The Reverend Fred Phantom over at Midnight Confessions offered this estimable entry, Pierre Fournier over at the humbling Frankensteinia offered both a regular and a Frankenstein-themed list, and Empress Kate at Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire amped things up with an all-nunsploitation list.

Well, your ever-lovin' Vicar has never been able to color very well inside the lines, so I picked up the alphabet meme while gleefully ignoring its rules and constructed instead an Amphigorey-style list that only uses an actual title every now and then, in pseudo-poetic form. In my defense--to my knowledge no one tagged me specifically, and hey, I got through the goddamn alphabet, didn't I?

So here goes--not a sonnet this time, but some Vicar-ious Verse in couplet form. Enjoy.

Alaric de Marnac, more evil than sin;
Bladder fx a la The Beast Within;

Curse of the Devil, perfect leap attack;
Diabolik's in Danger, Eva's got his back;

Frankenstein's daughter builds monstrous perversions,
Girl Slaves of Morgana give Gurth fine diversions;

Halloween III, better than I remember,
Inseminoid fucks what he does not dismember;

Jekyll-turned-wolfman, there's one for the ages;
The Karnstein Clan's malady's highly contagious;

Living Dead Girl, such a bittersweet fable;
Meanwhile Malabimba's a little unstable;

Night Train to Terror still has its supporters,
Olaf's sinful dwarfship transcends any borders;

Paul Naschy, the King, with pectorals so mighty,
Queen Hanna
and Russ of the Over-filled nightie;

Stella Star rocks the retracting stilettos,
Tourist Trap's workshop: much worse than Gepetto's;

Uwe Boll's unrepresented here, sadly;
Varla will beat up your boyfriends, and badly;

Waldemar's wolf-form has never been beat,
Doctor X's vengance has fly-traps for feet;

Yutte Stensgaard--Lust for a Vamp, Zeta-One;
Ze do Caixao arrives, and the party is done.

With a Zang and an Eep! and a staticky screen
The Vicar is spent..IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.



Rev. Fred Phantom said...

Excellent! Nice artistic spin on the list. Well played, sir!

Tenebrous Kate said...

Amazing!!! My nunsploitation alphabet surrenders. Also--your alphabet has 100% more Diabolik, which is always a good thing. APPROVED!

Samuel Wilson said...

Your list is awesome in an insane sort of way, and I mean that as a compliment. Congratulations on creating a genuine cultural artifact.

Pierre Fournier said...

Wonderful! For what its worth, consider yourself retroactively tagged!

The Vicar of VHS said...

Thanks for the comments, everyone!

Rev., Empress, and Pierre, it was your listing prowess that got me thinking about giving the old alphabet a try--what I lack in your encyclopedic knowledge, I hope I made up for in silliness and rhyme. :)

And Sam, thanks for dropping by! "A genuine cultural artifact," huh? I like the sound of that! I may have to use that as a site blurb...or else "Uncle Sam thinks MMMMMovies is 'awesome' and 'insane'!" :D E pluribus kookoo...

Fred said...

Awesome post Vicar. You used rhyme, provided links to your alphabet citations and did it all while keeping your metre. If I were a poetry prof (and I'm definitely not) I'd give your meme an A.

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