CONTEST WINNERS! Plus favorite Answers...

I know I said I would announce the winners this weekend, and in point of fact I did--if you haven't heard from me, YOU LOSE. But to satisfy your blasphemous curiosity, here are the MMMMMovies 100th Review Contest winners!

Grand Prize: Aunt John of Kindertrauma! Not only talented and funny, but a lucky SOB as well! Give it up! Aunt John chose the MMMMMovies Home Game as his prize.

First Loser Prize: Adam Vanderyacht of the great state of California! He'll be receiving the Naschy Pack of Curse of the Devil and Werewolf Shadow in the OOP Anchor Bay editions. Please forgive the stains on the DVD covers, Adam. I...I really don't know how that happened.

WORST PLACE PRIZE: Perhaps the most hotly contested reward, this one goes to poor, unfortunate Absinthe of Gloomy Sunday! If you haven't checked out her excellent blog yet, do so before she gets an eyeful of her prize and is no longer in a state to communicate with intelligent people! Her "rewards" are the all-time low-score record holder Goregasm, along with an even worse movie whose name will be spoken only once on this blog, and only right now: Live Freaky, Die Freaky! Don't seek out more info on it...just let it die. Freakily.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and for all the entertaining answers provided to my completely irrelevant questions. I shouldn't be surprised if some of your suggested movies find their way onto this page in the coming months--in fact, I promise they will. And because I LIVE TO SHARE, here are some of the favorite answers to the other two questions:

Who would win in a fight between Waldemar Daninsky and Coffin Joe?
The split was almost even on this one, with Ze do Caixao edging out Waldemar by one vote among all entrants.

• Karswell of The Horrors of It All! thought Waldemar would win "on sheer brute strength and facial intensity alone, plus Coffin Joe might break a nail... the second that happened it'd all be over." Tenebrous Kate also thought Waldemar would triumph, pointing out that no one could beat a "taller, beefier Glenn Danzig."
  
• Adam Vanderyacht disagreed, opining "Coffin Joe would so totally win that fight... Dude keeps an entire Strange World under his top hat, and parties with the Laugh In sock-it-to-me girls!"
• And Absinthe and Aunt John were apparently copying off one another on this quiz. Aunt John gave Coffin Joe the edge because Mom always said "Don't fuck with dudes in jaunty hats," while Absinthe wrote "I'm going for Coffin Joe because there are lots of top hats and I like top hats. Why don't more people wear top hats?"

People always get distracted by the hat. *sigh* All good answers, but of course all INCORRECT. This was in fact a TRICK QUESTION! Because of his innate goodness and general nobility, Waldemar would be woefully ill-equipped to fight the universe-warping evil of Coffin Joe, and even his hairy brute strength would be no match for Ze's patented red-eye rages. HOWEVER--because Waldemar can only be truly killed by a woman who loves him, and no matter what his other powers Ze is just so totally NOT THAT, Coffin Joe would likewise be unable to defeat Daninsky! Therefore, their battle would rage throughout the centuries, while whole civilizations crumbled around them! It would be...A DRAW!

(Yes, the Duke and I have given this a great deal of thought. It's IMPORTANT.)

Finally, the votes for MMMMMovies theme song are in, and there are some doozies--everything from the obvious ("The Monster Mash"? Come on, were you even TRYING? ) to the deliciously bizarre ("Gimme a Break" by Nell Carter! The French have a word for it...SASSY!) Other suggestions included an altered version of the "Mad Monster Party" theme, The Cramps' "Beautiful Gardens," Andy Gibb's "Shadow Dancing" and The Smiths' "Vicar in a Tutu" (NICE). I even composed and recorded my own entry (download it now! I'm an internet sensation!). But I think the most appropriate theme song has to be the one suggested coincidentally by the Grand Prize Winner, the wonderful single from the Liquid Sky soundtrack that so encapsulates what we're all about here. Enjoy:

ME AND MY RHYTHM BOX! Paula E. Sheppard, you RAWK!

So that's it! I hope everyone got his or her keys back, and you're ready for another hundred doses of MMMMMadness!